Training Children
Making Mistakes
Training is all about
discipline with Love
It starts with
parents who love enough to be disciplined
Disciplined parents
producing disciplined children
Love covers a multitude of sins
Every parent makes mistakes
The spirit is willing and the flesh is weak
We all have
weaknesses
Love must be the
foundation of all we do
If so, when we build
things that fall
They fall on the foundation of love
When things fall on
the foundation of love
Mercy is there, giving the ability to rebuild
again
Making Mistakes
I grew up in poverty.
I deeply loved my parents and they loved me.
My two brothers and
sister would say the same.
Both my parents grew up in Christian homes.
My mom had parents who were married
until death separated them
and they were very active in the church.
My grandmother owned a flower shop.
She was so successful, my grandfather
closed his mechanic shop to work with her.
My Dad’s father died before my dad
could know who he was.
My grandmother went through several marriages
and my dad struggled.
The church was a big part of my parents’ lives.
I was born while my
dad was in seminary.
They started a church in East Toledo.
They were loving and caring parents and Christians.
BUT
They failed at their marriage.
They failed at working out their differences
and the marriage ended in divorce.
I was three days into the first grade
when we moved to separate homes.
Neither Mom or Dad left the faith,
but struggled all
their lives.
Their failure to work out their differences
put them and us four siblings in poverty.
Dad struggled, but paid the child support
of $40 a month.
When he had us for the day…
It was a treat to
share fries at McDonalds.
Dad would sing a song (I hated)…
“I wish I had a nickel,
I’d tell you what I’d
do
I’d buy me a candy bar
and eat is in front of
you.”
I know my dad would never eat a candy bar
in front of us kids but…
He knew he did not
have a nickel
to buy a candy bar.
My dad told me when he was in hospice…
He thought of suicide
when we were young,
and the only reason he did not give up on life
was we kids needed him…
No matter how little
he could provide.
Dad remarried and divorced.
It was only later in
life that
he started to get ahead in life.
Mom never remarried but had to work.
She worked in my
grandmother’s flower shop.
Mom could not help us kids too much with homework…
As she was tired from
work
and new ways of teaching in school challenged her.
If we wanted candy…
We looked for pop
bottles to cash in
at the local carry out.
I always thought I was dumb.
I hated school as I
was bullied.
I did good if I could get a grade as high as a “C”.
I graduated not knowing how to read but…
I was able to
understand how to work with my hands.
I was embarrassed to be around people.
I thought they would
look down on me
and make fun of me.
Yet, with all my insecurities…
I knew God loved me
and I loved Him.
It was only as I became an adult
that I saw God loved others
as much as me.
My parents failed in marriage and
that brought about failures as parents.
Thinking I was dumb…
It was only later in life I realized
we all come into this world knowing nothing.
Everything comes through learning and experience.
I realize now I am not dumb, in fact…
I think the brain is
the greatest part God
made in the human body.
I love to think.
I taught myself to read, yet
I still do not like to read,
but I do love research.
I think of the man I could have been
if I had a father who could have shown me
the ways of life.
A mother who had more time to help me become
better at home making skills and education.
You could say my parents had a good divorce…
But I would say no
divorce is good.
The reasons for not fostering love and commitment
as married partners are of the worst sort.
Because a lack of love and commitment destroys lives.
I realize there are relationships where one is trying
to keep the relationship together and the other is not.
Where some are selfish in their ways
and bring greater harm.
I may sound hard and not understanding…
But you cannot ever look at divorce as a good thing.
A divorce is a failure at the core of life, “LOVE”.
Love is commitment and it takes skill and work.
Recently, when Sandy was in a nursing home
after surgery for a broken hip…
The woman in the room
with Sandy asked
after several days of watching our lives…
“Do you ever get ticked off at each other?”
I gave her a quick answer at the time…
But a few days later
I told her…
I get ticked off at Sandy
and she gets ticked off at me.
We do get angry with each other.
But we choose to
love.
There are things Sandy doesn’t like about me
and the same is true about me.
But we choose to focus on making every day
a good day
That happens as we cover what we don’t like with love.
So yes…
I know there are
things Sandy doesn’t like about me
and I will not change.
There are things I don’t like about Sandy
that will not change.
Those things are big things.
But we have chosen to make our love bigger
and that is why we have celebrated
over 51 years of marriage.
As a result…
Our children and
grandchildren could have never
had as good of lives as they do,
had we chose to divorce.
So, training up a child in the way
they should go starts with modeling Love.
We love because we want to.
We also love because we have to.
God is love and we should be the same.
Training up a child means teaching
them the basic skills of life like…
Cooking, laundry,
organizing, cleaning,
how to manage money, etc.
Training up a child means teaching skills
that will help land a job or run their own business.
Good parents know how to make love practical
with skills, and character in everyday life.
If you don’t teach them as parents…
The world will force
them into slavery.
I grew up in poverty
and I have watched those who grew up in homes
with parents who had more than mine.
I noticed those parents know the work
and responsibility it takes to be successful.
Their children were trained to be successful.
People who learn disciplines
and how to relate to others.
It is not that poorer parents
cannot do the same things.
This is not to say
all wealthy parents
who train up their children are successful.
What I am saying…
Is this word
“Training” is key to success.
If a child is trained in being organized…
As an adult, they will have the knowledge to use
those organizational skills in their home and work.
If the child is trained in communication skills…
As an adult, they will understand others
and others will be able to understand them.
Many adults today are living in bondage
because they do not have the skills for life.
If you are a parent who does everything
and gives everything to your children beware…
They may grow up to
be dependent on you and others.
If you are a parent too busy to train
your children in the basics of life…
Not being available
to make sure
they do what they are to do…
They may grow up thinking they can sneak by,
or talk their way out of everything.
Make sure, as a parent, you see that your child
came into this world with a clean slate.
You are the one who will influence
what goes on that slate.
God has endowed each person with gifts and abilities.
It is up to you to discover those things
and develop them in your children.
Remember it is up to you to train up your child.
Use others who can
help you and avoid
and remove those who will not help your child
learn and develop according to what God shows you.
It is not enough to lead your children
through the wilderness
or leave them in the bondage of Egypt.
Train your children how to live in the Promise Land…
To their full potential.
Where they will know
God’s love
and have reason to love Him.
And how to love others as they love themselves.
Training is all about discipline with Love.
It starts with parents who love enough to be disciplined.
Disciplined parents producing disciplined children.
Love covers a
multitude of sins.
Every parent makes mistakes.
The spirit is willing
and the flesh is weak.
We all have weaknesses.
Love must be the foundation of all we do.
If so, when we build things that fall…
They fall on the foundation of love.
When things fall on the foundation of love…
Mercy is there giving
the ability to rebuild again.
